The "Good 'Ole Days"

     Recently I've had a song stuck in head. This isn't an uncommon occurrence for me, but this song in particular has special meaning to me. The song is called "The Family of God" by Bill and Gloria Gaither. (If you're curious you can hear it here: http://youtu.be/vU-wuB5aK0U) While I'm not really a Gaither fan (although I did go to my fair share of "Gaither Homecomings" as a kid) and I haven't sang the song in years, it's the memories attached to the song that I enjoy. 

My old church from childhood, Morrilton Baptist Temple.

     Every Sunday morning as a kid, after my family had been greeted at the door by Brother Woody with his big smile and Mrs. Rosemary desperately tried to get me and my best friend Kyle to pay attention in Sunday School as we memorized Psalm 119:105, my family and I would finally make our way to our seats in the sanctuary (5 rows back, on the right side). The Pastor would welcome everyone and Mrs. Rachel would begin her beautiful piano-playing as she started the song "Family of God" and everyone was instructed to greet the people around you. As a kid, this meant that old ladies would pinch your cheek, the men would shake your hand firmly and say "My, you're getting big", and me and my friend Kyle would make our way to the back to conspire with each other about who would ask their parents if they could come over after church. These were the Good 'Ole Days for me.

     It doesn't matter if you're 25, 45, or 85 years old, you've probably at one time or another found yourself referring back to the good 'ole days, a time when things we're less busy, simpler, care-free, and just better (and gas prices we're lower). Honestly, though, everyone's "good 'ole days" came with it's own set of problems, mistakes, and issues. I grew up in the 90's when we had the O.J. Simpson murder trial, the Jon-Benet murder, an embarrassing presidential affair, the Gulf War, scrunchies, Crystal Pepsi, and Pauly Shore. But I had no clue. I was oblivious. I was a kid. And they were the good 'ole days.

     Consider this thought: these are the "good 'ole days" for your kids right now.

     It may not seem like it to you, because you're probably busier than ever, you're dealing with stress at work, financial strain, and family crisis', but for them these are the times that your kids or grandkids will look back on as that simpler, better time known as the good 'ole days.

     So, how can you be sure that these times become great times for your kids, even if they're not the best for you? Here's a few tips to help:

     1. Make Time for Family and Make that Time Count. Be sure to intentionally carve out some time in your week and your day to focus completely on your kids. Go outside, leave your phone, iPad, and books inside and just play with your kids. They probably won't remember all your air-tight excuses for the time you can't spend with them, what they'll remember are those afternoons that you set everything down and did something special with them.

Screen shot from a home movie we made.

     2. Make Small Moments Big. My family never had a lot of money to go on extravagant vacations, but we did go on bike rides down dirt roads, have games nights with other families, pull out the video camera and make silly movies (my favorite activity). They didn't cost much to anything to do, but they felt like big moments that I still remember fondly.
     3. Live Like God is in Control and You Trust Him. When the television tells you that the world is a mess and danger is around every corner, live and talk and interact with your kids is such a way that they know there is a God that is bigger than every problem and you can trust Him no matter what.

Your Next Step: Think about what made the good 'ole days for you. What are some ways that you're making right now the good 'ole days for your kids? What are some ways this week that you can create some fond memories with your kids?

In Christ,
Ryan Fillinger
Fusion Church
Fountain, CO

Great Books for the Family

There are two books that have most shaped my current view on family ministry and discipling children. I have to give a lot of credit to these authors for much of my thoughts as I've been writing the Yellow, Red, Orange sermon series. I've borrowed illustrations from them and I've adopted a lot of their philosophies on ministry to families and kids. I'd highly recommend these books to parents and leaders who minister to families and children!

1. Think Orange - This excellent book by Reggie Joiner (where I got the Yellow, Red, Orange color illustration from) spells out the need for churches and families to embrace a new strategy of combining their efforts and working together to instill faith in the next generation. It calls for church leaders to start "Thinking Orange" and make radical changes so they can "engage parents in an integrated strategy, synchronize the home and church around a clear message, provoke parents and kids to fight for their relationships with each other, recruit mentors to become partners with families, and mobilize the next generation to BE the church." It's a great and challenging read.

2. It Starts At Home - Written by Kurt Bruner and Steve Stroope, the pastors of Lake Pointe Church in Rockwall, Texas, this book emphasizes that "faith must be nourished in the rich soil of a God-honoring family. The church's role is to provide the water. But lifelong faith requires deep, abiding roots." As they share the strategies they see as essential to be intentional about developing a lifelong faith in your children, they also include several practical ideas and activities that you can put into action immediately to start being intentional. As a new parent, I've found this book very formative to how I plan on passing my faith my own children.



Here's a list of a few other books on a variety of matters important to families that I'd recommend:
"The Five Love Languages of Children" by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell, M.D.
"The Slow Fade" by Reggie Joiner, Chuck Bomar, and Abbie Smith
"The Blessing" by Gary Smalley and John Trent

In Christ,
Ryan Fillinger
Fusion Church
Fountain, CO